Deadbeat · Club

GUTTED!

April 3, 2006

• OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE B-52's RELEASED TODAY: "The B-52’s have had to make the very tough decision to withdraw from their European summer touring plans. At present they are deeply involved in the writing of their next album, and they have become so excited with its progress that they now feel quite strongly about not wanting to disrupt their momentum. The band is sorry to disappoint all their fans and the promoters who have been eagerly anticipating their return to Europe. They are very much looking forward to presenting and touring behind their new album in early 2007."

I'm back in London after a short sojourn to Spain. I already miss the medieval splendour, decadence, sunny days, narrow cobbled streets, orange trees, cheap booze, tapas and drinkable coffee. I am regretting the fact that I refrained from buying a flamenco dress, but as stunning as they were, my meager budget couldnt afford a 500 euro dress.

Back to London and early mornings, short days, delayed train, freezing cold and work. I get through my days at work by blocking out my bosses titty bar stories, my colleagues racism and homophobia and general offensiveness by slacking off on the internet and fantasizing about not needing to work. My current fantasy is that I become rich and famous by losing massive amounts of weight. I become like the sub way guy, prancing about a stage holding my own extremely large over-size muu-muu to show my audience how much weight I lost, "I used to be like you people". I make money by instilling shame and hope into people. oh vey, I need another holiday already.
Today, I am obsessed with:
Being bored and updating livejournal for the first time in ages, making lists, not leaving the house, Spain, Cute Spanish boys with mullets (seriously, the mullet is huge there), dieting, Jo's night at Dazed and Confused gallery and free booze, klinker club, celebrity big brother being over, pete burns, zubrowka zodka, my new matching "oh shit" earrings and necklace from alex.

top 5
1. faux winter blues
2. hot soup
3. The Hospitals show. Wild.
4. Seeing simon from popworld at fresh and wild, while buying my sourdough loaf and goats milk brie.
5. My sister is a genius gift-giver, and I have already received an early christmas present - a richard sapper espresso maker! Its even in MoMA.

Things have been too busy lately, woah crazy. Ive had a birthday, which was my first one away from home, and I thought I would be a big baby, but certain amazing people in my life made it a perfect day. I am so old.

Friday's trip to brighton for hands on heads show was okay. Its a lovely little town. My handbag is still full of pebbles from drunken beach antics. As it was guy fawkes weekend, the drive was punctuated by fireworks and bonfires along the roadside. And, it being my first guy fawkes experience, I was excited and delighted by all the fuss. funny english quirks. I am disappointed I didnt go to a village burning-barrel-on-head race.

Tonight is partyline, spider and the webs and paradise island. oh, and jenny (PI, EE) vs. me as the djs. god give me strength.

Hiii! me and the berlin wall. kisses!

hungover again today.
last night was fun.
i bought the floor drop back out of retirement. again.
lanhorne slim made me swoon.
the ninetofive thing is killing me. the weekends just go too fast. i got wasted and was sick. made an arse of myself. the high point of the weekend was the jumble sale. I thought it was going to be hipsterish and boring but was actually surprised to find actual jumble. i got an aztec charm bracelet, a pop swatch, another enamel pendant, more polyester, a two-tone pair of pointy toed canvass shoes and a pair of razor blade earrings - very teenage goth. love it. livin for the weekend.

I had a dream the other night that arnold schwartzenegger (predator era) was in melbourne and he shot everyone. It was like watching a movie, and I am such a fan of arnie films. I woke up happy that I probably wont be back there anytime soon. But how odd, I never ever have psychotic dreams.

I read yesterday that there is a diane arbus retrospective on at the v&a soon. This makes me a happy lady. So will the pair of vivienne westwoods shoes i desperately want. the autumn/winter collection is hot. but no, even though I have the money nowadays, I cant go blowin it on shoes.

Oh, Berlin in a few weeks, does anyone have any advice?
Jo! what part of town did you stay in?

I'm seeing the Stooges tonight!

There are so many amazing acts set to tour london soon.
Among these is Kevin Bloody Wilson.
Amazing. An Australian classic if there ever was one.

One Christmas when I was about 10, my sister and I bought our Mother a Kevin Bloody Wilson Lp for Christmas.
I think it was the hilarious photo of KBW in his underpants, playing guitar, with a santa's hat on that made us buy it.
Mum was horrified.
But we listened to on repeat all summer. All our friends' parents cursed us for teaching their kids such KBW classics like 'double decker dog' and 'Santa Claus, you c*nt!'

After months of instability and total utter vagrancy, I have my own house. like a normal person. And I love it.
The weekend was dominated by trips to Ikea and other homewares places. I got excited by a new set of cutlery, and began to reassess my life as it feels like Ive hit middle age. So sad but so good.
Housewarming BBQ/party to come soon.
A trip out to Ikea also meant a slab of swedish pear cider. My favourite new booze, but it feels like my teeth will rot.
The local shi shi organic shop has an amazing range of fake meats, an long time obsession. They even have vegan haggis from scotland. Obsessssed. It is worth braving the army of mothers with prams for.
Totally devastated to miss my main man's birthday, and special surprise party. I was thinking of you, honey!

Just in case you wondered...

I am alive.

my crazy alcoholic uncle just won 'best garden' competition in his caravan park.
Apparently, it even has a model of the sydney opera house in it.
well done, uncle brian.

Why doesnt someone make a reality tv show of courtney love?
Can you imagine the insanity??
- I am upset that the ATP 'If your Feeling Sinister' B&S performance sold out in 5 mins.
boo hoo. It will be a great show.
- French Toast the other night pretty boring, maybe I could get a record deal with Discord with the sounds of my own arse.
The supports were good.
+ Ariel Pink's new lp. Wonderful. And he's playing soon!
-Excessively drunken kareoke with work people, a total mistake. I sang bryan adams and totally felt it, for those two minutes, I was bryan adams Have become the butt of jokes. someone anonomously stuck a sticker on the back of my chair that says 'The whole shack shimmies' (i sang love shack), I wonder how long it has been there?

+ Celebrity Love Island & The Farm.
Reality TV continues to fascinate me. Especially shows with celebrities. Celebrity Love Island has 10 English 'Z' list celebs. Including those slags Rebecca Loos and Abi Titmuss - who shot to fame last year when her tv host boyfriend was arrested for raping someone, then of course, a 'stolen' tape was 'leaked' on the internet (needless to say, abi titmuss is stacked and has become the best known and well loved page 3 gal). Other contestants include a sugababe, an ex-body guard to the stars (whoa!), ex-eastenders actors, ex-footballers, and a bunch of other exes. Basically, unemployed, unemployable half-well known people. Totally boring, but totally compulsary viewing.
The farm isnt as good, but strangely, has a few men's mag models, Lucy from Dallas, some dude from the boy band 'Blue', Ron Jeremy, a famous ventriliquist, some old famous tap dancer dude and flava flav, yes, thats right, from public enemy. He's making a right arse of himself, too.
+continued and deepened David Bowie obsession
+gang gang dance and white magic at the Spitz. A while back now, but totally amazing.
+The Stooges ATP artist's own favourite lp show in Augu. They are doing funhouse. Can't wait.
+My long hair, almost down to my arse.
+Johnny and Mary by Robert Palmer.
+£1 flights to rome. coffee in rome. everything in rome. mamma mia!! (and as thegospel and I found out earlier this year, Italians really do use the term quite a lot).
+Gilbert and George on the cover of metro yesterday, a new piece that comments on "the yoof" of england and their penchant for intimidating clothing (hooded sweats are banned in some shopping centres. ha ha). It, of course, featured their mugs too. maybe I should go to the venice biennale...
+going to the restaurant that gilbert and george eat dinner in every night, a turkish joint near my besty, and over from bardens.
-Missing Eurovision. Finally, I am in a country that competes, and I forget to watch! boo hoo.
-vests and wedges. ladies, its over!
-hot chips and countless pints of lager and ale. Bloody good, but,makes for one big ass.
-not buying that vintage joan jett t-shirt from brick lane for £12. what was I thinking?